Tears descended down her face as her fingers danced over the gold lettering of her father’s tombstone. The words shone proud against the charcoal marble the same as her father had done in his life. “I’m sorry” she said, barely a whisper, her voice breaking through the eerie silence that had welcomed her from the moment her foot landed into this foreign land, that was haunted with abandoned souls wondering along the decaying bodies, that once homed them. Sorrow and remorse echoed through the forgotten wasteland as strands of raven locks pounded her face whilst the winds battled the trees with the almighty wrath of God. The trees did not cower or whimper against this force of nature; instead they stood proud, united, like leaf armoured soldiers protecting the sacred land where the remains rotted.
“I…..I…” the words from her mind refused to translate to her mouth. How could she tell him?
“I don’t know who to turn to or what to do.” She admitted with defeated. Most days it feels like her secret was burning a hole through her heart and making her bones catch a fever. Some days it cuts her up so deep it’s hard to find a way to breathe.
“Don’t give me that look.” She could practically feel his eyes swallowing her, looking down at her as he sat cushioned in a cloud. She didn’t need him looking down on her as well. It was bad enough that she was so paranoid that she felt like mirrors were whispering and shadows were singing it was as if her skin was smothering her and was determine to finish the job.
“Please help me find a way to breathe,” she begged. Time stood still as she waited and waited and waited for some sort of miracle to happen.
“You taught me to run from anything uncomfortable, you taught me that although inside were broken we should try to patch things up again.” She inhaled deeply as the tears threaten to make an appearance.
“Well I did what you told me; I’ve calmed my tears and killed my fears but what do I do now huh??”
Silence consumed her.
“I killed a man daddy.”
Looking to the clouds she mouthed, “I love you Dad” and left knowing that although he was gone, he would still be looking out for.
But little did she know, he was looking out for her a lot closer than heaven.