An apology to myself

Hi, ‘insert name here’,

I know that you and I have been through a lot together

And I know I haven’t always been there for you

And for that I am sorry.

 

I’m sorry that you wake up in pain.

I’m sorry that you wake up thinking you are useless.

I’m sorry you think you are nothing.

 

That you don’t believe in yourself

That you think people don’t have time for you

That you don’t like the way you look

That you think all your efforts are pointless

That you don’t like your body either

That you care what people think, even though you say you don’t

And that you gained so much weight

 

I’m sorry you have to do things you don’t want to

And that you would much rather stay in bed and not talk to the world for a while

And I’m sorry that you have to walk around pretending you’re okay

 

I know you wish you could cry more

But your tears just don’t seem to want to come

I’m sorry that you feel numb.

 

 

About haringeyunchained

Haringey Unchained is a collective of students aiming to show case the creative talent of Haringey Sixth Form College in Tottenham, London. We think that through the promotion of our creative thoughts, we can educate our community, bringing to the foreground the critical and creative consciousness of a vibrant school in a deprived part of London. We are endeavouring to provide this blog as a platform for our community, giving the space to those whose work otherwise might not be seen or read. Being that the cuffs are off, we are able to express through our photography, art, short fiction and poetry, what’s really on our minds. We are free.

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