You Will Always Fall Again*

I would like to tear all the skin of my body and start again

Rip away all my cells

Throw it all away

Pull my hairs out

For being so foolish

And be re born

But there’s a simpler option

I could gargle three times, wash my face, wash my arms, wipe water across my hair, pass it through my ears and over my feet

And I’m reborn

And pray and cry and pray and cry and pray and cry

Repeat this until my heart becomes soft again

And remind myself it will because it has become before

And he loves those who keep on returning

He loves me

He loves you

He loves us

God is full of love and forgiveness

We must remember

And when you are reborn you will come back better than before

A new layer of soft golden skin

That glows

But you may start to fall again.

But this time it will hurt as soon as you slip

And it may take you longer to want to peel your skin off again in complete regret

But you will

He is waiting

The process may take longer than the last time

But you are worthy of great change

And you will return better than before

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